“Dead Guy Walking” in Metastellar

It seems like only yesterday that I was announcing this (okay, it was three days ago), but today “Dead Guy Walking” appears in Metastellar magazine. Drop by and give it a read. You might laugh. You might learn something. You might never want to do the laundry again.

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“Dead Guy” Walks Again

I have received word that one of my favorite pieces, “Dead Guy Walking,” has been accepted by Metastellar for publication this Wednesday, October 27. (They do not let any grass grow under their feet!)

“Dead Guy Walking” is the story of a man who is given a chance to examine his life from the other side–or is he? Is he really a “dead guy walking” or did he just bump his head when he fell down those stairs? Given that this is based on a real-life event, I’m hoping that the answer is the latter–but to be honest, I’ve never been able to make up my mind.

So please check out Metastellar this Wednesday for the fantastic assortment of short fiction they offer, and if you can figure out what’s going on with Bobby, do him a favor–don’t say anything.

He’s already getting good advice from the dog.

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What the Heck am I Doing Up Here?

,As I alluded to in my last post, there may actually be worse things than having your story published. The first of these is that someone may read your story. For introverts, this is terrifying, and a great reason not to start writing in the first place. (You read the last post, right?) The next, and worse, thing that can happen is that you may be invited to appear on a panel at a convention.*

Yes, you could find yourself not hiding in your author’s garret while fretting about how many strangers may read your story, but confronting those people in person. They will outnumber you. They have paid money to see you. And they will expect you to have something intelligent to say.

How did you get yourself into this situation?

Relax. Breathe. I’m here to tell you it will be okay. I am not a “people person,” and I have learned to enjoy appearing on panels. And yes, this surprises me more than anyone.

The first thing to remember is that you can choose your panel(s). Nobody can force you to go up there if you don’t want to. So pick panels that you think you know something about (or can fake it. More on that later.)

Second, you will not be alone. Most panels have at least four members. If you are just starting out, chances are the others will be more famous than you are, meaning that the fans really came to see them and not you. This being the case, your job is to (a) introduce yourself (with a copy of your latest book or magazine appearance in front of you) when called upon, (b) insert some verbal comment every ten minutes or so, and (c) try not to look like an idiot, or if you do, try to look like a funny idiot. None of this is tough.

If you have chosen wisely, you may actually know a lot about the subject at hand and be able to keep up your end of the conversation easily. In fact, if you really know the subject, you could volunteer to moderate, which means you would have only to ask questions, not answer them. But consider carefully before doing so. No one wants an idiot moderator, not matter how amusing you are.

Also remember that panels last about 50 minutes. You really only have to open your mouth a handful of times. Fewer, if one of your fellow panelists is talkative, which often occurs.

And what do you do if you don’t know the topic as well as your co-panelists? That’s where requirement (c) comes in: You don’t have to be smart, just entertaining. I once sat on a panel about Star Trek‘s beneficial effect on real-world technological change. I am not a die-hard Trek fan, and certainly not an engineer. So rather than try to go high, I went low. I blamed the show for paving the way to cell phones, a blight on civilization if ever there was one.

My co-panelists went along, and the audience enjoyed it. Or at least they allowed me to walk out under my own power, so that’s good.

The advantage of being on panels is visibility. The first time anyone asked me for an autograph was after I was on a panel. For an author (introvert or not), visibility is crucial.

So maybe you don’t like talking to people; I don’t. Just remember three things: You’re there because you chose to be, no one expects you to carry the entire conversation, and when in doubt, make a joke. It’s less than an hour. You’ll survive. And you’ll get to sit next to people you’ve always looked up to, as a peer.

The only thing you can’t do is be an introvert. Not any more. Because if that’s your goal, you picked the wrong career.

(Now he tells me…)

*Or you may have applied for a spot. Heaven only knows what you were thinking.

#SFWApro

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