Hang Up and Drive!

This is a departure for this blog. I usually talk about writing-related subjects, or literature, and even then I try to bring in a writing angle. It may be narrow, but writing is what I do, and you’re supposed to write about what you know. Which is why this time I’m writing about being grateful for being alive.

About an hour ago, I was heading out to buy a burrito for dinner. (And no, that’s not why I almost died.) En route is a four-way stop where I need to make a left turn to get to the shopping center. I have seen people slide through that stop when no one is waiting many times, which makes me wary, and today was no exception. So when I saw a guy barely slow down as I approached the intersection, it made me even more cautious. I stopped, and when I started to make my turn, I paid close attention to the oncoming traffic. Except instead on “oncoming,” it was more like “incoming.”

An SUV was headed for me at 35 miles per hour, and it wasn’t stopping. I slammed on my brakes, and she did too, which didn’t keep her from skidding to a halt in the middle of the intersection in front of me, where had I kept going she would have neatly bisected my car. And as she gave a little wave of apology, I saw her phone in her hand.

If you don’t live in California, you should know that using a cellphone while driving is a major traffic violation.* You should also know that I have twice been struck (in another car) by drivers who ran red lights–while on the phone.

This is the moral I wish to draw from these occurrences: If you use your phone while you drive, you are going to kill someone.

Had I been paying less attention, you would have killed me.

 

*No, I wasn’t able to get her license.

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Writers Should be Heard…

Sitting in my car at a light today, a guy crossed the street in front of me, totally intent on his screen. No, he was not texting on his phone. He was typing one-handed on his laptop. Maybe he left his iPad at home? Perhaps he was hunting for Pokemon?*

Whatever, I just hope he wasn’t a writer, because no deadline is worth getting, well, dead.(And that goes for whatever project he was working on.) I suppose it isn’t surprising, considering that multi-tasking is de rigeur these days; everyone has to be somewhere or do something in a BDH. (Big Damned Hurry.) That’s why red lights don’t mean what they used to. I’ve been in two accidents in the past few years, both because of distracted drivers running red lights. Based on my experience, I have this advice: Put down your damned phone when you drive unless you’re planning to use it to call the hospital!

But I digress. What I meant to say was that I have a question: When did writing become a spectator sport? Go into any Starbucks (in LA, anyway), and at least one person will be plugged into a wall, tucked away in a corner, headphones on and laptop open. He obviously doesn’t want to be disturbed, because he’s got headphones on. Why doesn’t he want to be disturbed? Because he’s writing. Why is he trying to hard not to be disturbed that he must do it in a public place? Beats me…maybe he can’t afford to buy coffee for home? (Writers are notoriously pecuniary, after all.)

Writing is supposed to be a solitary pursuit, i.e, you stay home and do it all by yourself. Writers only go out when they’re in a writers’ group, and even then they’re hunched over in their tightly-circled chairs, armored against outsiders. In some climates, heating and A/C are required, and maybe you’re too poor to afford them–the classic remedy here was to go to the library (where you don’t need headphones to be left alone), although there are some notable exceptions to the rule.

But the library isn’t good enough any more. Now you have to multi-task: Not only do you have to write, but you have to be seen to be writing. Harlan Ellison once made writing an actual spectator event, but he’s Harlan Ellison (and he didn’t wear headphones). So why must so many write in public? That coffee is expensive. You never know who’s going to sit next to you. And it takes up space for other paying customers after your latte has gone cold.

Personally, I write alone. I have written in coffee shops, but only when necessary (like waiting for someone), and not extensively. I realize I’m not everyone, but still. As far as I’m concerned, the room is full enough with just me and my cast of characters. You want to multi-task? Try juggling three different viewpoint characters.

Believe me, it’s not as entertaining as it sounds.

*Speaking of which, if you are into Pokemon Go, try my friend Will Macintosh’s Burning Midnight for another take on the whole “treasure hunting” concept.

#SFWApro

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Reading – Unsafe at Any Speed

I’ve been thinking about the phenomenon of fiction written expressly for tablets and smartphones, typically 1000 words or less, able to be consumed in bites on the subway, bus, or sitting eating your lunch…yeah, right. We all know when people read off their phones, and it isn’t limited to when they should be reading off of their phones.

So if someone is reading my utterly absorbing story while walking down the street (or heaven help us, driving), and he steps into a manhole and breaks his ankle, am I to blame? Am I going to get sued? I mean, it’s okay to break a reader’s heart, but not his leg. By the way, if you want my stories while you drive, try my recent podcasting debut.

What do we, as concerned citizens, do? I don’t even have a smartphone, so I can’t bring down the level of unsafe reading. As a writer, I have two choices, don’t submit to these markets, or write bad stories (in which case they won’t sell, which is essentially the same thing). Neither is a good choice.

I opt for the third option: Write such good stories that the reader will stop in his tracks. At least then he can’t walk into a manhole. And for those who are reading me while operating a motor vehicle? Same advice as always.

Hang up and drive.

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